Taken and Forgotten
by cupcake12578
Summary: Edward leaves Bella to protect her. Bella thinks he loves Tanya. Jacob is sick of seeing her upset and heard Edward was coming back, so he kidnap's her, hoping to make her his. Bella still love's Edward, even after he hurt her. Will Bella become Jacob's doll or Edward's wife? Rated M for possible lemon's and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is just a little something I thought up. I would appreciate some reviews. And I probably won't continue unless I get a good response, seeing as I'm going out on a limb here. Enjoy…**

Taken and Forgotten

I breathed in the honey like scent of Edward, relaxing the moment his scent hit my senses. He'd be back tomorrow from hunting, and then his scent would be stronger than it was on his t-shirt. My cell phone vibrated and nearly fell off the night stand as the vibrations moved it across the stand. I grabbed it just before it slipped off the side. Awaiting me was a text from Edward.

_I'm coming home early, leave your window open._

_~Edward_

I opened my window the moment I finished reading the text, the minutes ticked past ever so slowly now that I was waiting. Time always passes slowly when Edward isn't here, like I'm living in a pool of molasses, each moment slow and constricted. After about an hour I decided to go to bed, I hit the light and turned around to see Edward standing in my room. He looked sad, hurt almost, I hoped everyone was ok.

"Bella, we're leaving." His voice was soft, and he barely choked out the words after a few moments of silence.

"Where?" Maybe I finally would be changed, the farther from here, the better for my change.

"Alaska, we're leaving tonight." His voice was still soft.

"You can't even give me some time to pack and say goodbye?" I can only imagine the look on my face as the realization hit me, the moment his features turned to pain I knew. I wasn't going with him, I was staying here.

"Bella, we, as in my family and me, are leaving. You are staying. I saw Tanya the other day, we talked awhile, and I realized I miss her…" he choked it out like a child confessing to breaking his mother's favorite vase.

"Are you saying you don't love me Edward? I have been nothing but faithful to you, I care about you more than myself, and you still pick Tanya? I thought I was good enough for you, but I was wrong!" I screamed this at him, furious and saddened.

"Bella you don't understand, it's not like that…" he tried to explain his reasoning for lying to me, to everyone.

"No Edward, it is like that. Get out of my room. Now." I tried to remain calm, but I couldn't, not at a time like this. With that he walked to my window, at a slow human like pace.

"Be safe my Bella." He whispered it, almost to himself, but I knew it was for me. A lone tear dripped down my face, I wiped it away, determined not to let him see me cry over him. He climbed out the window, and just like that, he was gone.

3 Days Later

I walked into the house; it seemed as though every step took a lifetime, getting to my room took forever. The moment I walked in my room, I knew something was wrong. The lights were on, the window was open slightly, and my room was definitely cleaner, just like when James was here… I rushed to my window, and looked outside. Just as I was about to turn around to go outside and clear my head, a rag was pressed tightly over my mouth and I was dragged out. I didn't have the will to fight, I didn't care what happened to me, so I let myself get dragged away as my head throbbed from whatever I was breathing in . I took one final breath as my world went dark.

When I awoke, my head was pounding, and I couldn't see anything. My hand instinctively went to my face, but my hands were securely tied behind my back, and my ankles were bound together. I assumed I couldn't see because of a blindfold, and a towel was securely in my mouth acting as a gag. A whimper escaped my mouth at the tightness of my binds. A deep laugh erupted around me, from this I gathered that we were in a small enclosed area, perhaps the back of a van, and I had been kidnapped, by a man.

Panic filled me and I thrashed and kicked, I had to get out of here, Edward would never take me back if I was damaged goods. I still love him so much, I need him. Tears dripped down my face, dampening the towel with a salty taste. I didn't care if this man saw me cry, I only hid my sadness from Edward, not him. I was surprised by the pain, the burn, the stinging of a slap across my face.

"Shut up! Did I say you could make noise?" he yelled at me. Then I recognized the voice, the voice I trusted more than any, Jake. I shook my head as my tears became a downpour. He then turned soft, "Aww Bells, I'm sorry…" with that he began to untie my blindfold, allowing me my first glimpse of light in awhile. But I kept my eyes shut tight, I was afraid.

"Jacob, take me home." My voice wavered at the end; I was unable to control the fear, sadness, and confusion.

"I can't do that. You know I can't. I have you here for a reason. I want you Bella, you can't go back to Edward after he's hurt you so-…"

"I love him Jacob! I don't love you, let me go home!"

"Shut up! You love me!" he slapped me across the face again, and gripped his hand around my neck. The squeeze around my neck was tight, I gasped for breath, trying to get the sweet air that I need. I squirmed and struggled, and I could feel each of his fingers pressed into my flesh. When he finally released my neck I collapsed onto the ground, all my strength was gone as I tried to get air into my lungs. A moan escaped my lips as I felt the rush of air going into my body. I heard a small electronic beep, and was curious.

"Jacob…what's that noise?" my voice wavered on every word.

"It's just my camera, I want to record this for your leeches, we wouldn't want them to miss all the fun we're having." A smirk slid across his face as he played back him slapping me, yelling at me, and hurting me. I could see the imprint of each of his fingers on my neck as I watched myself, the dark purple bruises from his rough fingers, my bright red cheeks where he slapped me. I didn't even know what to say to him, this wasn't my Jacob, my Jake…

The van stopped abruptly causing me to ram against the back seat, unable to move my arms to stop my fall, I ran into it at full force, my nose was bleeding. The blood dripped down my face, and ran down the back of my throat as I coughed up the blood. Jacob pressed the towel that was used as my gag to my nose, hoping to stop the bleeding. "You're getting the carpet bloody! Don't you think of anyone but yourself? You'll pay for each drop on that carpet later." he yelled at me, for having a bloody nose, and was punishing me for it. I shivered, but it definitely wasn't from cold, it was from fear.

**A/N: So, whatcha think? Good, bad, ugly, atrocious? It's not very good, I'll admit that much.**

**Reviews are better than cookies, well sometimes.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Dear people who have already followed/favorited this story, I LOVE YOU. So, I have decided to make this chapter available, very quickly. Please forgive me if it's bad again, it's late here. Lol**

**I'm skipping ahead here a few hours into their drive, nothing excited really happened just sleeping, because it's night now… XD**

***Warnings For Chapter*: Abuse, some language, nothing too bad though. **

**I hope you like it!**

I woke up to someone shaking me roughly. "5 more minutes dad…" I said it in my groggy voice.

"Get up you stupid whore!" Jacob yelled at me. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the van today… But I complied; remembering I already was going to 'pay' because of the bloody carpet, why make it worse? So I sat up, and began to rub the sleep from my eyes, removing the crust from each corner, and effectively removing some of my sleepiness.

"Listen here, we are walking into that hotel across the street, you are not to move anything but your feet. You are not to make a sound. Nothing. If I see so much as the slightest slip up, you'll wish you were never born. Got it?" I nodded furiously; I really hope I don't fall.

With that the back doors were ripped open, revealing a few other members of the pack. Must be newcomers, I didn't recognize a single one of them. One of them pulled sharply at my wrist and I yelped in pain. The bruise was already forming. I tumbled out of the van, and was caught in the arms of one of the boys. I walked as smoothly as I could across the street and into the front doors of the cheap hotel.

The moment we walked in, the air tensed. There was a woman at the front desk that immediately sensed something was wrong, I smiled, hoping to reassure her that nothing was wrong, hoping she would stay out of this. She quickly returned to her paperwork, assuming all was well in my world, boy was she wrong… It turns out we were already checked in as we walked right up to a room. We all pushed inside, the room revealed to large beds, there were 4 of us. As if I didn't already see this coming…

I was roughly pulled into Jacob's arms, he slammed me onto the bed and I whimpered. He just laughed and continued with his goal, to hurt me. "You're going to pay for that blood now Bells." The way he was talking scared me, this wasn't my Jacob anymore… "Jack, Brandon, hold her down so she can't get away."

With that the 2 other boys came over, one of them at the head of the bed, the other at the foot. Each holding down 2 of my limbs, either my arms or my legs, I struggled, kicking as best as I could and trying to squirm away. "Quit moving!" Jacob yelled and punched me in the gut. I stopped, I couldn't breathe, the air in my longs was knocked out of me, and my body constricted in pain. I cried out and this seemed to egg him on.

He kept hitting me, my eye, my nose, my ribs, I felt as though there wasn't anywhere on my body he hadn't hit. But I was wrong; he hadn't violated me, at least not yet. As though fate knew what I was thinking, he squeezed my breasts in his hands. He was rough, and it hurt, there would be finger print bruises tomorrow. I just want him to stop. Stop he did, the moment he knocked me unconscious with a final blow to my head.

Author POV (I don't know what else to call it, lol)

Jacob walked around the room nervously, pulling at his short hair. He had finally worked up the nerve to send the videos of him beating Bella unconscious to the Cullen's. He had video taped every moment she was here; there were around 18 hours of film for the Cullen's to watch. The moment he had hit the send button on his Gmail account, he knew he was sealing his fate. He would die when they found him, and it would surely be painful.

Alice POV

I sat in my room, listening to Tanya's disgusting giggling. That should be Bella, not that Tanya bitch. Edward is a flipping idiot, of course he doesn't really love Tanya, but he had to do what was 'right for Bella'. Idiot. So here I sat, browsing my closet for something to wear that didn't remind me of Bella. But that was impossible, everything reminded me of Bella, air, life, blood…

_Chirp, Beep, Ping!_

Someone was instant messaging me? Must be a mistake, it couldn't be Bella, god, I don't even know what is going on with her, that dog is always clouding my visions. The moment I clicked the link I knew it was not a mistake, and it most definitely wasn't good. It was a video, and it contained a battered, bruised, sobbing Bella, with a smirking Jake nearby. Fear engulfed my entire body, I had never been this afraid in my entire existence as a vampire. A concerned Jasper rushed to my side, he was frozen just like me, staring at the video playing out before me. It started with the camera in Bella's room; she was looking out her window, looking sad. Jacob came up behind her, slapping a cloth over her mouth, she didn't even fight him, and she just let it happen.

I watched the scene play out and I didn't even realize Edward was behind me. I was too caught up in watching Bella, I reached my hand out for the mouse, fast forwarding through the video to see if she was still alive. They were walking into a hotel. I watched in horror as they threw her on the bed and beat her until she lay bruised, bloody, and unconscious. I knew Edward was behind me then; I heard him yell, like he was in more pain than anyone should ever be in. That was when I knew we had to save Bella, even though she thinks we hate her, that Edward doesn't love her, and that Tanya was actually loveable.

**A/N: So, how'd you like it? Review please, they motivate me to update quicker. lol**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't know what it is, but I actually want to update this story, weird right? I'm a little grumpy right now, so prepare yourself for the below text…**

**Seeing as I forgot to mention, I don't own Bella, or Edward, or anyone else in this messed up story.**

**Want to hear my opinion real quick? Of course not, but I need to rant, just skip to the story if you don't want to read this.**

**I think it's stupid that we need to put a disclaimer up, I get it, no plagiarism, but it's a fanfiction website, of course Stephanie Meyer isn't on this website writing stories about her characters! I mean, even is she posted 'This is Stephanie Meyer posting!' would you even believe her or accuse her of lying? Just my opinion, but for legal purposes, I'll say it; I am not, nor will I ever be, Stephanie Meyer. Thank you.**

**And by the way, I promise to stop switching POV's all the time.**

Bella's POV

I awoke to a pounding in my head. Actually, it was everywhere; the memory of last night's beating hit me like a fist to the face. How clever, I internally laughed and scolded myself, the internal sides of Bella were arguing, God I'm going bipolar now… I needed fresh air, the air in here was stale, and it reeked of whatever cheap air freshener this hotel used. I coughed and went to swing myself out of bed. Only then did I notice the heap that was Jacob lying across me, snoring.

Unable to stop myself, I gagged at the thought of him touching me, it was repulsive, and disgusting. The thought of escape finally hit my mind, how was I going to get away? I had been taken by Jacob, the only one I thought really cared about me anymore. But to make matters worse, I was forgotten, the Cullen's are gone, Edward's gone, and Jacob is oh so far away… What about Charlie though, he must be wondering where I am…

Once again, unable to stop myself, I shook Jacob awake, hell with the consequences. "Jacob where's Charlie, what did you do to him?" my voice cracked as the salty tears ran down my cheeks, the thought of Charlie being help against his will, or worse… scared me to death.  
"Charlie and Billy are on a fishing trip, to Canada, for a month. No need to worry, no one will be looking for you anytime soon, we wouldn't want our fun to be interrupted, would we?"

I started shaking as the reality of it all set in, Jacob was going to kill me, or rape me, or keep me here until I was a broken mess on the floor, until I was the blood stain on the carpet. Blood stain's are the stain that everyone tries to get rid of, the stain that nobody looks at because it's so repulsive, the stain that gets covered up, because no one wants to look at it. I am that stain, I am a mistake, nobody wants me.

I can't help but cry, and when Jacob shoved the camera in my face and told me to 'cry for my leeches' I did. Cry I did. "Edward please, help me! I know you love Tanya, but don't leave me here with him! Please!" I ended my please with the camera by letting out a shriek of fear as Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. My eyes were literally a downpour of salty wet tears and there was no hope of them stopping anytime soon.

"Stop crying Bella! I don't want to listen to it!" he slapped me across the face. I cried harder, how could my sunshine be so dark? He slapped me again; this was a game to him. Let's see how many slaps it takes to make Bella stop crying. Slap, tears. Slap, more tears. Slap, shriek. Slap, sobbing. Slap, silent tears. Slap, nothing. Slap. Slap. Slap. Each slap reverberated around the room. I lost track at 9 slaps, I'm sure there were at least 30, each one stinging more than the one before. I finally gave up, I had nothing to fight him for, and so I stopped, and lay there in my own little world, crying on the inside.

"It took you long enough to get my point, you're wasting my time Bella. I am going to break you, I am going to make you suffer, I gave you a chance to love me. Now you will pay."

I couldn't respond to him, I was too caught up in my own pain, physical and mental, to care. Home was all I wanted, to be wrapped in Edward's arms, to lay next to him while I slept. Normal, that's all I wanted. But here I was, stuck with Jacob in this hellish place, listening to him tell me why he wanted to destroy my being until I was a shell of the person I once was. The irony of it all was that I thought he was the only one who could save me, he did it once before, the first time he left, and he could have saved me again.

Really I should have known, I couldn't expect Jacob to just let me run back to him whenever I felt like it. All he ever showed me was love, and compassion, I just turned around and ran back to another man every time though. I though he understood that I loved him as a brother, but I always knew that he loved me much more than a brother loves his sister. He wanted me to be his forever, the girl he could love and laugh with, be carefree and dream with, he wanted me because he thought I was perfect. I was too blind to see the piece of heaven sitting in front of me, the devil had tricked me, and now all I had was hell.

**A/N: I'm really sorry it's so short, but I don't know how to continue this without making it into a whole new chapter. I love making new chapters; they make me feel less awkward about continuing my story when I don't know what to write. Lol**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I was seriously considering not writing, but considering I do have a begging reader, I thought I would. Also, do we want a happy ending, or a sad ending? Please leave your answer in a review if you would.**

**Also, I'm getting really bored so I'm going to be fast forwarding approximately 3 months. It is currently beginning of December. We'll say December 7th, but I won't be mentioning many dates in this story.**

Approximately 3 Months Later

Blood dripped from my wrists, I was bound in an unfurnished basement to a cement wall; the rusty chains cut at my flesh and I didn't dare move an inch, it hurt too much. Everyday was the same I lay here, motionless, half dead, waiting for Jacob, Brandon, or Jack, to come in here and beat me. On several occasions Brandon had been nice to me, giving me water when I was so dehydrated my kidneys had begun to fail. He even brought me some food on a few occasions. But for all I knew, it could be part of his orders, part of his mission to break me.

I no longer had the will to survive; I didn't care what he did to me. Little did he know, I was already broken inside and out. The camera was once again surveying my body in Jacob's hands; he kicked me, eliciting a moan from my cracked and bleeding lips. He kicked me harder in the side and I heard what can only be described as a crack; I whimpered, I felt like a whining puppy…

"Poor you, your rib is broken, you really need to be more careful you know, you're going to seriously hurt yourself one of these days… Maybe if your leeches were here they would have saved you. But there not here, because they know you're worthless, they don't want you, and nobody else does either!" he yelled at me, the sarcasm dripping off his words at the beginning, but filled with hate by the time he finished.

I'd heard Charlie was doing ok; Jacob at least had the decency to not hurt Charlie. That's the only thing I had ever thanked him for, not killing or hurting Charlie, physically anyway. Jacob taking me had hurt Charlie, that much I knew. Charlie had been told I was kidnapped, they told him the truth, just not who by. I wished for so many things I felt selfish. I wished for Charlie to be ok, Jacob to be Jacob again, and most of all for Edward to save me and love me again. But that was impossible; my life meant nothing to know one but Charlie. He was the only one that cared even the slightest bit. I think that's what hurt me most of all, the fact that the only person I could count on was my own father, there was no such thing as unconditional love in this cruel world.

As I sat there lost in my thoughts, it happened. The unthinkable happened; a sudden explosive growl erupted around me. It was Edward's growl, that much I was sure about, but I knew it wasn't real it was perhaps a mirage, or a hallucination. He didn't care about me. I felt the shaking next, Edward's emerald green eyes in front of me, yelling something I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't hear him; it was like someone had shoved cotton in my ears, blocking my hearing. That was what made me know he wasn't real, I would have heard him if he was really here, I would have felt him pushing me down, drowning me in my sorrows.

JPOV (Jacob by the way lol)

When your life is in someone else's hands, someone's whose are about to end your life, they say your whole life flashes before your eyes. But not for me, stuff flashed before my eyes alright, it was every mistake, every wrong I had ever made or done. The scenes started out innocent, me stepping on a bug when I was 7 or 8 years old, then as a preteen shooting a bird with a BB gun. They slowly got worse as I aged, me yelling at Billy, and me slapping Leah out of rage, the look of shock registering on her face. That was the first time I ever hit a woman.

The next images where slower, and had more clarity, perhaps because they were recent, or maybe because they were the ones that I was most ashamed about. I saw myself taking Bella from her home, slapping her across the face and calling her a whore. The images disturbed me, and I knew I was wrong to do that to here. I felt bad, no, terrible… The last thing I saw was me kicking Bella's frail broken body that lay on the floor, and I saw the satisfaction on my face as I heard her rib cracked.

If I had known then what I knew now, I wouldn't have taken Bella, beaten her, destroyed her. I felt Edward's shaking hands on both sides of my neck, and I said the only words in my head, "Goodbye doll, I'm sorry."

Author POV

As soon as the words left Jacob's mouth, Edward's agile hands ripped his head to the side, breaking his neck and killing him instantly. The life rushed from his eyes, a film seemed to glaze over them, as his body lay limp on the floor. He and Bella looked similar now. The fury in Edward's eyes was plentiful, but killing the monster he knew as Jacob was not enough to sate the monster. But it helped lessen the desire to kill, destroy, and most of all avenge.

BPOV

I just sat her on the ground. Watching the scene play out before me, I'd had hallucinations before, but never this vivid. I expected Jacob to slap me across the face, pulling me back into reality, or at least the moment. I felt the chains slacken as they were ripped from the wall, I felt his cold arms wrapped around me as he carried me. But this wasn't real; I couldn't let myself believe just to be crushed down again. My heart was numb to everything, I could feel his arms around me, but at the same time, I didn't feel anything at all. After being beaten into submission so many times, it's hard to think, to feel, and to even live. Each breath was a hassle, I didn't want to live anymore, and now my subconscious being was trying to hurt me too. In my mind there was only one answer, only one solution to end the pain. They say the things you need the most have the highest price; they're right, peace of mind would cost me everything I have, it would cost my life.

I don't know when, by at one point I remember being set down on a soft surface, perhaps a couch, or bed. Strong hands gripped my shoulders, shaking me, threatening to bring me to the surface, to reality. But I held myself under, I couldn't do this. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard him talking to me; I heard him pleading with me to look at him. But I just couldn't, the moment I opened my eyes to the truth Jacob would be there, or Jack, or Brandon.

**A/N: That was a hard chapter to write, I wasn't sure how to display broken Bella. Anyway, enjoy, review, favorite, follow, show me some love!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This story probably won't be a whole lot longer, I want to write some more things and this was intended to be short anyway. But I can guarantee at least 3 more chapters. **

**By the way, I realized I made a terrible mistake saying that his eyes were green, I mean seriously, what the hell was I thinking? They are gold, he's a vampire, Bella's the only human here. Sorry…**

He didn't stop shaking me. My world was bouncing around in my head, trying to sort the real from the fake. I opened my eyes and the gold ones staring back at me bore into my broken soul. His face was an open book, everything about his expression said, 'I don't want you' or 'you are nothing to me'. That was what broke me, the feeling that even the man who I thought saved me, didn't want me. But it was expected, after all, I'm damaged goods.

The feeling you get knowing that you are damaged goods, is one of the worst feelings in the world. But the strangest part was, I didn't feel like a human, I felt like a moldy piece of fruit that nobody wanted. Perhaps I felt that way because Jacob owned me, I was his doll. He was the puppeteer, controlling me, manipulating me, but he didn't know that good things don't last for every. Eventually the doll will break if you push too hard. And that is exactly what he did, he pushed too hard.

My thoughts were interrupted by the smell of food. It was hardly recognizable and I no longer thought the scent was good. It made my stomach ache with hunger pangs, knowing that it wasn't mine. Jacob always did that when he ate; he'd hold it right under my nose while he ate, starving me for days on end. The food he did give me was hardly edible.

I watched longingly at the steaming bowl of what looked to be soup. Strong arms picked my up and sat me upright on the couch. The spoon dipped in and pressed against my cracked lips. I didn't open my mouth, last time I tried that with Jacob he punished me severely. So I sat there with my mouth closed as the spoon pushed against my aching lips.

"Bella, please… eat…" the velvety voice surprised me, making my mouth open unexpectedly, the spoon made its way in. I coughed and sputtered, trying to repel the liquid. I can't eat it. I can't. Another spoonful was waiting for me. The sincerity in his voice this time surprised me, "Bella, you need to eat this. Please, for me…" there was no mistaking that it was Edward. My mind was good at conjuring up scenes like this apparently.

Finally, I relented, the smell was too much, and I was so hungry. I opened my mouth the slightest bit, allowing the soup to run down my dry throat. It burned the whole way down, and warmed my empty stomach; it almost made me happy. Energy was something I lacked, so I just let Edward, Jacob, or whoever it was feed me the soup.

EPOV (I love writing from Edward's view!)

I slowly dipped the spoon into the soup, being careful that it didn't drip. Bella was like a ghost, she was so thin, so broken, and so hopeless. The very act of eating was too much for her. I was so worried when we first saw those videos; I didn't know what to do with myself. So I ran, I ran and I ran until I didn't know where I was; and I just stayed there, lost in my despair. I shook the thoughts from my head, Bella needed me. I pushed the spoon against her lips, begging her with my thoughts to eat it. Her eyes no longer looked at mine, but rather off into space. She wasn't looking at anything but what seemed to be her thoughts, and that scared me.

"Bella, please… eat…" I resorted to begging her to eat; I didn't know what else to do. Her mouth dropped open the slightest bit, no doubt she was surprised to hear my voice. I took advantage and slid the spoon in. Immediately she started coughing and spewing it back out, onto my shirt and hands. At first I thought she had been choking, but I knew she wasn't when I saw her spitting it out. She was afraid to eat the soup, that much I knew.

"Jasper?" my voice croaked out. He would know what I needed.

_ The only thing I'm getting is fear; she thinks she's still there._

"Bella, you need to eat this. Please, for me…" I begged her again, holding it right under her nose, hoping she would give in. She finally opened her mouth and I could see the saliva pooling in her mouth, I fed her quickly, she was obviously starving.

When only a small portion of the soup was gone, she stopped eating, she probably couldn't eat anymore. That mutt probably didn't feed her more than twice a week. I relented, and she immediately sank back into her thoughts, the glaze returned over her eyes, and I lost her, again.

I reached for her hands that were clasped together on her lap, her knuckles were white, and she was gripping her hands together hard. I pried her hands apart and held onto one of her hands, relishing in the warmth the flowed so freely from her delicate skin. I reached up to move a stray piece of hair from her eyes; she flinched that moment my hand moved. Once I had touched her hair, her eyes were clenched tightly closed again, hiding from whomever she thought I was.

Inside, I was crying like a little girl; Bella was afraid of me, the only person that mattered to me, was afraid of me. I couldn't blame her, I knew she wasn't actually afraid of me, just who she thought I was. And it was my fault. I left her vulnerable for Jacob to get, when I should have been there for her. At that point in my life it hit me that Bella's life wasn't mine to control, after all, she'd been controlled and treated like a doll enough lately. The least I could do was let her take her life into her own hands.

As I looked back at all the months I had spent with her, I realized and controlling and possessive I was. I didn't let her see Jacob, her best friend. Deep down I knew that this was my fault, Jacob might not have taken all his anger out on her if I hadn't been so intent on keeping him out of her life. He would have settled for her friendship before, but it was too late when I left her again.

The first time I left her **(during new moon) **should have cleared up all the doubts I had about saving her. But leaving her a second time, thinking I had a better excuse wasn't fair. I had made my decision, if Bella wanted to be a vampire when she got over this, she could be, and I wouldn't hold my beliefs to her. I was going to let her take her life into her own hands. I just hope she won't hate me because of the mistakes I have made. I also knew that if she did hate me for putting her through this, I had no one to blame but myself, and I would have to let her go, whether I wanted her to or not.

**A/N: Leave me some love, please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm starting a new story called _A Simple Change of Plans, _you should read it once it's up. I'm excited about it, lol. As stated earlier, this story is most likely starting to come to an end, although I might keep writing on it. Please also notice that updates are going to be farther apart from now on, because I have 2 other stories to work on now. **

BPOV

When I woke up I was on a soft surface. I was in a bed. At first I though I must be losing my mind, Jacob never let me sleep in a bed. When I sleep, it's always on the cold, damp, and hard floor. Really, I don't consider it sleep; it's more of an unconscious state. It isn't peaceful, and it really isn't restful either. However, it does provide relief from the beatings, and the hunger pains.

I felt a cold hand over mine. The hard granite like texture brought me comfort, even though I knew he wasn't in love with me I still loved Edward; he was the only one I would ever truly love. "Edward?" I murmured his name softly into my pillow, it was part question, part statement, I knew he was there in my heart, but my brain said otherwise; and that confused me.

"I'm here love." He spoke softly, almost as if he was afraid. It made me want to comfort him, to wrap my arms around his neck and nuzzle my face into his neck. But I couldn't, it wasn't my place. So I let him sit there, afraid, worried, and probably pained. I felt the familiar stinging in the corner of my eyes, and the tears began dripping down my face steadily. I felt a cold thumb brush away each tear, but they kept coming anyway. His lips came next, kissing my cheeks where the tears ran down. They were gentle, and made my breath catch in my throat.

It did nothing to calm me though. The only thoughts I had were, if this isn't real, Jacob is kissing you right now, comforting you while you cry. That made the tears come down even harder, and I soon found I couldn't cry anymore. I then proceeded to curl up into a tight ball. I lay down on my side, with my knees at my chest, and my arms wrapped around myself. I closed my eyes as I tried to find a moment of peace. But it was impossible, even with the silence around me, there was no peace.

"Bella honey, you need to eat something. Or at least drink some water." Esme spoke gently to me; she sat me up on the edge of the bed, my legs hanging limply over the side. She pressed a glass to my lips and I gulped down the water, not realizing until now how thirsty I was. I drank until the cup was empty and my arms were resting uselessly at my sides. I didn't have the will to move them, so there they sat a mirror of my insides. Broken, useless, sickening to look at because they were so thin, my skin clung to my bones horridly.

Esme then proceeded to feed me a sandwich, giving me small bites at a time, being careful to keep me from choking as I ate the food quickly. The sandwich quickly filled my small stomach, and my insides were soon churning and I felt sick. By now Esme had left to give me some peace. Edward sat in a recliner in the corner I hadn't noticed. As I looked around finally taking in my surroundings, the painted blue walls, off white carpeting, paintings on the wall, closet on the near wall, bathroom on the far. The room was plain, but tasteful. I was so caught up in the beauty of such simplicity, that the large sensation of nausea caught me off guard. I leapt from the bed and ran to the bathroom.

I caught a glimpse of Edward wide eyed, obviously surprised by my sudden movements. Really I couldn't blame him, I hadn't moved much at all in the past 2 or 3 days. Once my feet hit the tiled floor, my knees collapsed and my stomach contents were emptied violently into the porcelain toilet. I continued to gag and shake until I couldn't anymore. That was when I felt the cool hand on the back of my neck holding my hair up, and the other on the small of my back rubbing small circles.

Exhausted, I collapsed on the floor of the bathroom, more so than I already had. Arms quickly wrapped around me and I was carried slowly into the bedroom. Why he walked so slow I could only guess to be thoughtfulness, Edward probably expected my head to be pounding; and it was. Once I was laid gingerly on the bed again, the shivering began.

Before I was even aware I was in Edward's arms I was under the soft blankets of the bed. The warmth quickly comforted me, easing my shakes, and I slipped into an uncomfortable sleep.

EPOV

As soon as I heard Bella's breathing even out, I headed for Carlisle's study, I had so many questions to ask him. I knocked on his door, he already knew I was there of course, but it was what human's did, and so I of course did it. It was a normal thing for us now, try to look human, try to blend in; and after so many years of doing it, it was natural.

"Enter." I heard Carlisle say quietly, it would have been impossible to hear by a human, but I heard it easily and walked inside the study.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do? She's throwing up now, I'm afraid I'm going to lose her."

"Edward, she is most likely going through shock. She probably never expected to see sunlight again, let alone someone who genuinely loves her. Son, did you touch her, or kiss her at all?"

"Yes."

"She might also have been upset because she feared Jacob may have been touching her. The idea of that may have very well repulsed her." I groaned at his words and angrily fisted my hair. "Son, she needs you, stay strong for her. After all, she's the one suffering for the decisions of others."

"Do you think I wanted this for her? I left because she deserved better. She should have fallen in love with Jacob! She would be better off!"

"That's not what I meant Edward. She feels forgotten by you, and then Jacob took her. Each of you made decisions that hurt her. The difference is, one of those decisions was meant to be for the better. You can't blame yourself for trying to help her." I nodded at his words and some of the frustration and anger melted away, reducing the tension in the room.

"Thank you." I turned around and gave him a nod before walking back to the spare room. I sat at the end of the bed as she cried out in her restless slumber, desperate to help her, but even more desperate to have her.

**A/N: Like I said before, updates will be less often now and I would appreciate if you checked out my new story once it's up. Leave me some love, because I love you! Lol :p**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yeah, so you guys probably hate me for not updating so soon. But I do have a legitimate excuse. My internet has been really slow and bitchy. It won't even load the pages most of the time and I haven't been able to use my laptop for the most part. Plus, I do have a lot of stuff going on in RL keeping my busy, not bad stuff, I work out everyday and it's just hectic.**

**Please, stop with the mean remarks. If you're going to criticize, criticize. But criticizing is not typing in 4 word, 'this story is stupid' or using really bad grammar to complain about character pairings. Seriously, get over it.**

*****Warning*** This chapter contains self harm. Please remember that if you are having trouble in real life, you should talk to someone before turning to this. Talking to someone helps, it really does. Talk to someone you trust, you can even talk to me if you want, but I can't guarantee I'll help the situation, I'm bad with people. Don't like, don't read. **

I felt like a firecracker, so tightly packed, calm and collected, but the fuse at the end kept me burning. Here I was waiting for the fuse to hit me, for me to explode from being so confined for so long, it was time for me to be set free. And I did explode, I couldn't help it. My fuse had been lit long ago, and this was long past due.

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't tired. I was awake - in more ways than one – and ready to get out of here. So I did just that, I got up out of bed, and walked outside the Cullen house, anything to escape my confines. It as selfish of me, that much I knew, but I didn't know where else to turn. Jacob was dead, Edward will be leaving again soon, and who knows what happened to anyone else. Besides, I couldn't just waltz into town and expect no questions to be asked, or at the very least a few eyebrows raised.

I never understood why Charlie never came looking for me, I had been gone well over 3 months, and he would have only been gone a month at the most. But yet Charlie never made an appearance, and I never knew if anyone was even looking for me. Except Alice, I knew she was looking for me; she was the only one I could count on when I was there.

The smell of the pine trees was intoxicating, fresh, and downright great. I never imagined nature could be this great. As I thought about my walkout this morning, it occurred to me that no one had tried to stop me. Heck, I didn't even see one of them. Pain clouded my reasoning and vision, had they left, again? I had only been home a few days, and already I've been deserted. This was unreal, and it wasn't fair. But then again life isn't fair. The onslaught of tears made my eyes burn, and vision bleary. I pressed my back against the nearest tree and slid down until I was sitting on the ground, propped up against the rough bark of the pine tree. The ground was uncomfortable from all the pine needles, and it poked into my skin roughly, making me wince every time I moved even the slightest bit.

Something quite a bit sharper poked into my thigh, and I felt along the ground with my hand, trying to locate that sharp object. My hand brushed against the wetness on the back of my leg that was seeping through my jeans. Blood. My hand finally closed around a pocketknife that was nestled in the needles under the tree. I picked it up and rolled it around in my hand, examining it closely. It had a red exterior for decoration. A scissors when you unfolded it, along with a bottle opener, various knives, a flashlight, and a screwdriver all tucked in the sides. I looked at the knife extension that was already out and saw my blood on the blade, red and glistening in the sunlight, reflecting off the smooth metal and it was hypnotizing.

Somewhere in my subconscious mind, I knew what I was thinking was a mad idea, but I shoved that part down as far as I could. I didn't care right now. A few of my friends had done it before, I'd seen the scars. What they had told me about it did nothing to describe what I was feeling here. It was pure adrenaline. And it was intoxicating. I brushed the knife softly against the skin on my wrist, watching as my skin pebbled from the cold of the metal, I shivered.

I pressed down harder, and harder, until it was painful, and the knife sliced into my skin, I watched as the crimson liquid spilled out of my skin, dripping down to the underside of my wrist before dripping onto the ground below. I was so confused by what I was feeling, pleasure, pain, and power, so much power. With that, I realized what I was doing, and I felt disgusted. The knife was still in my hand and I threw it, hard. It hit a nearby tree and I immediately got up and ran, back to the Cullens.

The minute I walked in the door, 5 pairs of eyes looked at me, in disbelief, confusion, and so many other emotions I couldn't pick out. A drop of my blood fell onto the white carpet.

"I'm sorry." I whispered quietly, mainly to Esme, but yet to everyone in the room. I felt a fresh wave of tears coming, and I wished I could control these tears; they only made me seem weak. I saw Jasper then, his eyes black and focused on my bleeding wrist, his tongue absent mindedly swiping across his bottom lip. I shivered from the intensity of his gaze, and it scared me a bit.

I felt a cold arm on mine, it was Carlisle. He led me upstairs to his study where he began cleaning my wound that was still bleeding profusely. He had a wet cloth to wipe away the dry blood, and the wet blood. He then pulled out a square of gauze which he wet with some kind of alcohol. He pressed it into my skin, and I realized just how deep and wide the cut was. It was huge, and swollen, and just nasty looking. The burn of the alcohol erupt around my and I tensed my wrist without really realizing it.

"Why did you do it Bella?" Carlisle questioned softly.

"I-I… I really don't know."

With a nod he finished wrapping my wrist with a bandage and left. Leaving me sitting in his study utterly confused.

**A/N: Yeah so, I'm going to recommend some really good stories I've been reading on here, because they really deserve to be read, like a gazillion times.**

**Dine and Dash - Katherine-Alexis-Tyler-'K.A.T**

**Chop and Change – Krazyk85**

**I'll make you love me – Xim84**

**Edward, Who? – CynicalDreamerC**

**Seriously, you need to read them if you haven't already. They're fantastic if you ask me. I could go on, and on, and on, with recommendations, but that's all for this update. I hope you enjoyed!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't have an excuse this time and I'm sorry for not updating. Anyway, here is the awaited 8th chapter.**

**Same warning as last for this chapter.**

I sat up from the chair. When I turned around Edward was leaning across the doorway, a deep wrinkle settled between his brows as he looked at me, deep in though. He groaned and I tensed, he was angry with me now. I felt the tears coming down again and I briskly walked towards the door, he moved aside and I ran to the guest room I had been staying in. I walked into the connected bathroom, tearing off the newly wrapped bandage as I turned on the shower and walked into the freezing cold water.

Soon enough, the water was toasty, and I grabbed my razor from the ledge, shaving my legs and arm pits before setting it back down. I sat down then, letting the hot water beat down on my face and neck. I just sat there for awhile, thinking, and just being. I found myself absently tracing patterns on my opposite wrist with the razor blade. So I did the only thing I thought would make me feel better, I cut, and I bled, staining the water red. After a few minutes of bleeding I heard the roar of anger from downstairs, followed by a slamming door.

I'd been under the water for what felt like ages when I started to feel dizzy. It had to of been from the loss of blood, and I couldn't find it in me to care. I let the darkness overtake me, I didn't even try to fight it, and I felt my body slipping into the shallow pools of water.

I groaned as I felt the pounding in my head and nauseating feeling in my stomach. I felt the vomit coming up before I could do anything about it, and I vomited violently into a waiting bin beneath my chin. Exhaustion overtook me and I collapsed onto the bed. Opening my eyes was the toughest part. I could force them open for a moment, only to have them crush back down, and what I could see was a blurred mess.

After a few minutes of attempted opening, I succeeded, and looked around the guest room. It was the same as I remembered, with the edition of Edward in the recliner. He was sitting with his eyes closed, making the sunken in features of his face clearly visible. How long had I been out? He looked as if he hadn't hunted in days, perhaps more. His eyes shot open then, the gold eyes piercing into my head, full of sadness, and more plainly, anger. I watched as he clenched his fists, and I instinctively flinched back into the soft bed and blankets. His anger dissipated and I relaxed again, able to breathe once more.

He was at my side within an instant, touching his cool hand against my cheek. "I was so worried."

I didn't know how to respond to him, he had been angry with me a moment ago, and now I had his sympathy. "You need to hunt," was my clever response.

"I'm fine."

"Don't stay here for me, Edward."

The heartbroken look on his face made me feel bad for saying it, almost. But I was still waiting for him to leave, and take me back to the Jacob I believed to be dead, or for me to simply wake up alone one day, with no one left to care about me.

"How long was I out?" I whispered quietly to him, afraid to hear the answer. He shook his head, refusing to meet my gaze. I knew it must have been bad…

"2 days, 3 hours, 14 minutes, and 49 seconds." The way he said those words, so full of sadness, made my own heart break. The gasp that escaped my mouth was soft, but of course he heard it. His eyes immediately snapped up to meet mine.

"I will never let anyone hurt you Bella, but I can't protect you from yourself."

"I know." I barely choked out after a few moments of comfortable silence. I barely felt him sit on my bed, but the gentle rustling of the blankets alerted me to him sitting. I cringed away from him, to afraid to get close to him, to think there was something between us.

As the beginning of my silent tears were forming, his cool arms pulled me into to him, and his cool breath washed across the back of my neck, the scent of him meeting my nose. I inhaled deeply, wanting to only smell his beautiful scent for the rest of my life. But that was ridiculous, and impossible, he won't be here my whole life.

This was the only way I could sleep, I knew that much. His arms were so comforting, so intriguing; I couldn't stay away from a thing so wonderful. Before I could even register the drowsiness, I was nodding off to sleep.

"I love you." He whispered into the darkness, and that was the last thing I heard before I feel into a deep, terrifying sleep.

_I glance around me; I'm surrounded by trees and thick green foliage. It's a bit cold, and I'm wearing a much to thin jacket, with jeans. _

_ "You're unlovable; nobody wants you; you are worthless. I'm leaving you here, I don't love you." Is the sling of insults slung at me from none other than the velvety smooth voice of Edward._

_ "You're lying!" I scream at him, the words catching in my throat. I see the emotions in his face, he doesn't believe the words, and neither do I. Then as quickly as it started, he's gone. I reach into the darkness, trying to pull him back to me, I need him. I collapse onto the ground; heavy sobs attacking my body, making me shake and crumble. There is no hope left in me. I let out more screams, desperate for him to come back and save me from myself._

I keep yelling to him, vaguely aware that I'm not sleeping anymore. Knowing deep down that it's his arms that are cocooning around me and making me melt into the soft bed, and still I yell to him. His soft cooing noises and shushing sounds are matched with the slight rocking of his arms. I'm unbearably hot; I'm sweating and shaking with tears pouring down my face. I shoot out of bed and I rush down the stairs, desperate for cool air to ease my burning body.

Why was I in a forest? The thought pops into my head, and I stop so abruptly that I thought Edward might even run into me, but he doesn't. Why was I in a forest? Why not my bedroom? The dream never changes, _ever,_ but tonight was different, and I'm so _confused_ by it, so completely alarmed. My breathing is uneven, even I noticed it, and I'm on the verge of hyperventilating. Control Bella, control.

Somehow, during my break down, I had started walking again, and the cool outside air rushed into my lungs, it was strangely calming. I greedily gulped in breathe after breath of cool air, each breath calming me more, and I realized I was exhausted. At some point I recognized the feeling of Edward's arms around me, carrying me back to his bedroom.

**A/N: I won't be updating as often. And I would guess maybe 2 chapter's left at the most, I'm getting sick of this story and want to do some All-Human fanfiction. I'm really into Mobward right now, but I'm not sure if I know enough about mob's to write it. Oh well! I better just read more mob stories. :P**

**An amazing fanfiction I've been reading that just NEEDS to be shared is**

**There Will Be Blood by johhnyboy7 plus there's a sequel!**


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